I will not be a Stereotype

Let me just get some raw, basic information out there.

I am gay. I am 17. I am still in high school. And I am closeted, almost completely.

I realised I was gay in late September of last year (2009), which was unnecessarily complicated. At the time, I was on exchange in France, and I had only been there for a few weeks. So not only was I going through some serious emotional realisation and change in my homosexuality, but I was battling with the foreign language, the lack of friends and family in my vacinity and the establishment of a mutual hatred between my host sister and myself. It was a really stressful and quite depressing time for me, but hey, ten months later and I'm still live, right?

To be honest it took me a few months to really become... accepting of everything. To this day there are times that I wonder "why exactly am I gay again?" but I am definately at a point where I am comfortable with myself and am ready to let others know.

I have since told about... four people. The first I told, a good friend who is incredibly sexually liberal and who helped me create my new definition to the term Latte Socialist, reacted weirdly. She was shocked, said "Oh, OK", and then sort of avoided the subject for the next three or four weeks. Now she's trying to hook me up with guys at school - time changes a lot, after all. Unfortunately, I don't know nor have I ever met any other gay people, which makes it hard to... relate to people. I've found resources like SameSame and DNA Magazine really helpful in developing a self.

One of the most helpful pieces of information that I have ever been given from the internet is to not fall into a stereotype. The man, gay himself, wrote that "once one becomes part of a minority group, like gays or lesbians, it is very easy to become something you are seen as being rather than being what you are". I think that's very true. As a gay man, I have been expected to style my hair, love pink, be a total slutty bitch and walk around with floppy wrists, and the simple fact is is that that person is not why I want to be, nor is it who I was before. Since admitting to myself and coming out to a few friends, I have developed as a person immensely. I'm not afraid to have opinions about things for fear of being scrutinised, and I'm more confident in what I am, that I'm not the stereotypical male. I fit in with a group of people, yet don't want to drown in it.

Since the realisation, I've began to want equal rights. I had no idea how large the inequalities in society were between heterosexuals and homosexuals before I did a bit of research. Gays aren't allowed to adopt, nor can they marry in this "Lucky Country" of mine, Australia. I have become very passionate in that regard. There is still a huge double standard in society that creates a second class of citizen, and that simply is not acceptable in 2010 Australia. But there will be more on that later.

I am a Latte Socialist. And I will not be stereotyped.